but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I cockslap morals
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
