At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
