she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
