they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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