I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
