So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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