I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You are the jesus of drinking
How does one acquire holy water?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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