when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
