you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
tell me about the fingering
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