It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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