these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
