Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
