I wish i was in the wii world.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
