So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
