dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
