there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Randomize
