Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
