She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
