I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
