The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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