You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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