Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
