I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
