holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Verdict: uncircumcised.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
