she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I will pee on everything he values.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
