I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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