She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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