Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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