I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
This toilet bowl is my home.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
