And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She's just so happy...and so naked.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
