I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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