I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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