we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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