At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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