She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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