Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
