Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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