shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
