If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
