3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We had sex on a dog bed..
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
