Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
