i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
