i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
