Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
