there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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