Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
