she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
