The maid of honor just puked.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I think people are normalizing furries
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
