he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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