Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
sarcasm needs its own font
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
